He is an equal opportunity slut.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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