I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
