Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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