I must be too annoying 4 u.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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