as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
