Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
