I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
That reminds me...we need to get swords
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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