There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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