This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
