No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
