you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
