No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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