Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize