yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
