Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
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