They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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