That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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