Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize