Dual....:-)
if you like me you must not know who I am
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
