shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
