I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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