no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
