I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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