It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
