in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
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