I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
