Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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