Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i think i have herpe
just one?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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