That's intense
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
