Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
