Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
