we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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