I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
two words: eviction party
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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