Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
