Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
