Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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