everyone is single if you try hard enough
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
