im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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