just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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