so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
