If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
