i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Found the puke drawer
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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