..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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