I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
