it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize