..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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