You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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