The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize