She is in my trunk
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
