discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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