I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
