maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize