Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
