I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
