im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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