This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
