pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize