I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize