I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
