How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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