Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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