Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
