So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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