It's Friday. Sex?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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